P.O.P. Pt2

     If the last post was TMI for you then don't bother with this one. 'Cuz things don't progress with out help; Just when it seemed like it wasn't getting worse it was staying the same, it changed.There is good news in sight though.


Here we go....


 Last post I left off with the fact that I am still waiting. Which is true. Last week was rather difficult in the fact that I haven't had to take pain meds for over a month and last week I just couldn't make it without. I hate taking them.  They make me sleepy at first and then when they wear off I feel itchy/tingly, they also cause constipation. Which is terrible in my current state.

Some of you may know my mom had Colon Cancer at 34. Because she was so young all of her children have been encouraged to get early scans to be preventative. I got my first scan last year, I had 10 polyps at the age of 28. They removed them all and none of the biopsies showed anything negative, it just meant I was to return in one year for another scope. I was also referred to a geneticist for some genetic testing to rule out some other possibilities (the results of which I should be hearing back about in the next 4-6 months now; remember all the waiting...). In the meantime I am on the books for annual scans until they don't find anything, as well as watching my diet making sure I get plenty of dark greens, fibrous foods and stay hydrated. Now I am not perfect at these things by any means, but I have been improving a lot. At this years scope I only had 2 polyps, and will meet with the doc again in 6 months to basically schedule next falls scan. Reigning Youngest in the scope line title will continue to be mine for a few years yet. 
How is that related?

It means I'm more easily constipated than some. So taking the pain pills it's very easy to lose regularity which I've been working to gain for the last couple years. This increases the pain levels I have, as there is more causing pressure. The lowest I have ever been was last week, I literally had to move my uterus out of the way in order to have a bowel movement. 
Little degrading.
Come on this doesn't happen in real life does it!? Isn't that a stories from the ER sort of issue?
Ya'll that's the lowest I've been since beginning my fight back against the PPD cloud that came into my life 2 years ago.
I can't live like this anymore.

I went to the doctor a few days later, as soon as I could get in basically. It is not in my nature to be a squeaky wheel, but this occasion calls for it. I went in, I had someone watch my kids so I could focus, and my husband even came with me.
The Doctor walks into the room, and all he said was "so How can I help you today?"
cue the tears.
This is why it was good Jesse was there with me, to help make sense of the words I was trying to get out. He is my backup. Always.
Explained everything recent, and is there ANYTHING we can do?! We are willing to pay out of pocket to get help.
While we were there he called an office in Great Falls, Montana with us in the room. He was asking if they had received the referral he had sent 2 weeks prior, apparently it got lost. They gave him the specific fax for the doc I need to meet with, his assistant even called to make sure the fax was received.
The next day I got a call from them.

Cue the Joy

I have an appointment to meet with the doctor who does these repair surgeries regularly. I have an appointment that I only have to wait 1 WEEK for! Next Thursday we will be meeting with him in Great Falls, sorting what needs sorting, and scheduling what need scheduling.

The adversary is so scarily real.

Today I received the most exciting phone call. After two years of waiting there is finally a light at the end of the tunnel I have been stuck in. I have an appointment to meet with a surgeon next Thursday. A surgeon willing to take me in as a cash patient.
The price quotes I got from his billing department were much more reasonable than I had anticipated.
But now that there’s finally an end in sight. An end of the pain and embarrassment, and end to the complicated menses, an end to peeing when I walk too fast or run or jump or laugh or cry or sneeze or cough. And an end to needing to physically move my uterus out of the way so that I can have a bowel movement.
And all I can see are the giant dollar signs all around me. How much it’s going to cost as a procedure, the exchange rate, in time I can’t solely take care of my family, and how long I’ll be unable to work. How much it’s going to cost, and all the other things; The car needs winter tires, the van door is broken, there are literally cabinet doors falling off dressers and cupboard like it’s an epidemic! I have prayed and fasted to know if this surgery was the right course of action. If it will really help, if it’s worth the attempt. And I know it will be. But for some reason all I can see are blasted dollar signs.
Christmas is coming
The Us exchange rate is not in our favor.
My family can’t really travel here to help me
My husband has a clinic here he works at, as well as one in Arizona that he needs to regularly visit and pay money towards expenses until it’s more stable in bringing in its own income.
I know this is the answer.
 I know it. 
So is that why all I can see are the reasons to wait?


Shut up Anxiety; cuz you are a liar.


There is still a lot of questions I have, and I will hopefully get some answers next week, as long as I write them down so they don't fly right out of my mind when I walk into the office! I am not in the clear yet, but the light at the end of the tunnel is glowing brighter, which means it is getting closer.
I know I have a great support around me, I have Fox family nearby that I've grown so close to since moving here. I have more friends here no than I often realize. I am not alone. There are people willing to help me get through this. Whatever "this" ends up being. 
Just gotta have Faith.