10 years ago

December 23rd 2001
the day before Christmas Eve ten years ago was a HUGE day in my life. That was the day, well night really, we came home to our house on fire. I found my journal that I got recently after the fire and wanted to share what I wrote about it from then and what I remember about it now. I even have some photos from it. What was the worst thing ever at the time has come full circle now and I now can say that I am grateful for the experience.

I have been reading through the journal from that time and I really didn't write that much about it, I remember crying a lot when I wrote it but I remember more than I thought. So I'll record it here for the world to see :)

So Sunday December 23rd 2001 we were doing lots of baking after church  for our friends and neighbors, we planned to do lots of deliveries Christmas Eve. We made like ten loaves of banana bread and a couple batches of fudge and started some butter softening for cookies. Yeah we  were going ALL OUT. We got a call from Grandma Brown asking if we wanted to come over for hot chocolate. Game on! So we covered up the goodies, and my mom asked me to blow out the candles in the living room, and I didn't, then we loaded up in the car and went to Grandmas, she only lives about a mile away from our home, it's pretty great. We got there and had some snacks and hot chocolate and Grandma taught us some about candy making and we dipped some chocolates. We decided to put on It's a Wonderful Life, cuz we kids hadn't seen it before (and to be honest I have not watched it since...maybe this year we'll change that..). When the movie was over we decided we should probably head home it was nearly 11pm and  we had deliveries to make the next day! And we'd be back for our Traditional Christmas Eve at Grandmas so all was well.

I still clearly remember all I wanted to do when we got home was brush my teeth! Hot chocolate tends to have that affect of making your teeth feel all fuzzy, especially the homemade yummy kind! So that's what I was thinking about, we turned into the culdesac and saw a guy running up the lawn yelling from his car. As we turned into the driveway I saw the yellow glow in the front window. That is NOT what the tree looked like when we left I thought as I realized what was happening. Then then the front window blew out! My dad jumped out of the car and ran into the garage yelling something along the lines of "where are the photo albums?!" and he fully intended to run inside our burning house to find them. But he burned his hand on the door knob.

The man in our front yard lives on the next corner and is a retired fire fighter, he smelled the smoke and went searching for the home on fire. He called 911 once he found our house and went yelling to see if anyone was inside when we pulled up. We called them again cuz it seemed like forever and they still weren't there, we could hear the sirens they just weren't anywhere near us. If you look from our upstairs windows you can see the firehouse, so we weren't sure what was taking so long. Meanwhile my dad was trying to get the hose to turn on, but it was frozen. We watch the fire truck take a wrong turn down the wrong Swansboro culdesac, one of the downfalls of Highlands Ranch and the way they gave nearly every street in my neighborhood the same or similar name. Our neighbors started to wake up hearing the commotion, some them started to come outside to see what was going on. The LeMons brought us kids inside and wrapped us up in blankets as the firetruck finally showed up. But we couldn't just sit inside their lovely home while ours was aflame only feet away. So we brought the blankets outside and had to watch what was happening.

As the firefighters were setting up a perimeter and hooking up their hoses our neighbors from behind us came running through the backyard, The Tureks. I remember Sarah just found me and came and hugged me, and that's when I lost it. I cried so hard. I remember the way the cold air burned my throat as I cried in the arms of my friend. Trying to pay attention to everything but I couldn't really see past my own tears. People were walking around and asking if we'd been inside and I couldn't say anything. Maybe I spoke but I don't recollect a word of it.

Once things started to whined down and we started to really feel the cold ( it was after all the middle of the night in the end of December) we went to the Tureks home to warm up. My grandparents came and picked us up from there. I remember my dad saying "Don't worry guys this will be fun! We get to live in a hotel for a few weeks and get all New stuff! All my life I've wanted ALL new stuff!" I think I did manage to laugh a little. Leave it to my dad :)

I slept on the big couch in my grandmas basement with Karly and I cried myself to sleep. The next morning our house was on the news, it was also in the paper. At that point they didn't know what had started the fire, just that it was under investigation. Remember when I said I didn't blow out the candles in the living room? The room where the fire was? Yeah who felt  awesome...
As I got upstairs not knowing what I was supposed to do I couldn't really shower I didn't have any clothes, I still couldn't brush my teeth I still had no toothbrush at least I was at grandmas and so I had a bowl of cheerios. As I was eating the doorbell rang for the first time that day, and it was certainly not the last. Some members of our ward were on the porch with two duffle bags and said "We brought clothes where can we put them" and I guess the office cuz it's right near the entry way. Calls started coming what can we give, everyone that I answered I said toothbrush, that's all I wanted was to brush my teeth. So when we ended up with about 30 toothbrushes I took full responsibility, but was thrilled to have clean teeth! I remember going out shopping with my home teacher and his wife who also happened to be my beehive adviser Randy and Liesl Bailey. They bought us kids all something we could wear to church in a few days, even some hair clips. Randy's family had a house fire and he shared with me what they went through, and that it DOES get better. That helped a lot. Then we went back to my grandmas house.
I hardly recognized it.

The office right off the entry was now FULL of items donated to us by people from our ward and people who had heard what happened. My parents were bringing car loads of things home that people had dropped off in our yard, food storage, hot meals, money clothes, from people we didn't even know but had read the paper. We sure were able to feel the Christmas giving spirit. One gift I remember strongly someone rang the doorbell and I answered and a man dressed like Santa was wearing sunglasses was there, he said "The Browns?" I confirmed  he handed me an envelope and said "Merry Christmas." And then he left. Inside the envelope was 6 $100 gift cards to Target. I couldn't even believe that just happened.
Our neighbors brought us Christmas presents, even our insurance agent brought us some presents. To look back on all that was given to us I have so much gratitude. I know I would do the same for anyone in the same situation. My parents would have done the same. And we were truly blessed.

Christmas Day came. My parents actually had to wake us up! It was nearly ten and all of us were still sleeping. We came downstairs and there were presents. There were presents for US. There was also a puppy. Santa fortunately enough kept everything hidden in the garage this year, so it was all safe. This was the year I got my sewing machine. We did have a few things in our basement that we were allowed to take too.

After Christmas morning it was time to go and see the house. It fairly normal looking on the outside except the front window was boarded up, making it extremely dark inside, after all there was no lights left inside.
She was tiny, and we named her Maggie. A Long haired Miniature Dachshund. Whom we had until she was 8. But here I am in my Christmas Eve jammies and robe (from the Tureks) and the puppy fit in my pocket!

the majority of the fire was here

Our Piano. Notice the basket next to it is completely untouched. Not even ash touched this basket, guess what was in it? The Ensign. There was literally a circle around it as if it had been in a fire proof bubble even that side of the piano was safe. 

The only other thing untouched was under the Christmas tree, you see Mandy was getting her first set of Scriptures for Christmas, and all the wrapping was burned off but the book was completely unharmed.

We took this as a hint we should probably reading a little more.

Shelf above the window in Mandy's room

Similar shelf in Karlys room, both upstairs.

another of the entry way

Upstairs hallway, we only got a few of those books back, most of them were unable to be cleaned and thus were thrown out.

This rooms temperature was 600 degrees when the firemen got to it.

We had some laundry to fold. Notice the dead plant, on the other side of the door was one more untouched thing, the sister to that dead plant that my Mom got when she and my Dad were first married. It's still alive today.

Mantle and fire place on main floor

What was left of our Christmas Tree, we hadn't had a real tree in 4 years. I haven't had one since.

Can tell what some things were but mostly ash and melted wrapping paper.

The fire went out pretty quickly. One of the firefighters told me the smoke alarms were still going off when they got inside. So if we'd been home we'd have been warned. The upstairs was recorded at being 800 degrees (600 on main floor) so not a lot was saved, but they tried cleaning everything, majority of our photos were saved. So was it my fault after all?

No.

There were two spotlights lighting up the silk trees on either side of our Christmas tree, one of them just got too hot and too close to a present and it caught fire, ran up the cord and the couches and live tree were just great fuel unfortunately. Not that the yule log in the middle didn't help but they reassured me there was no way it could have started the fire. PHEW!

We lived at my grandmas a few more days, then insurance company was able to get us into a hotel for about a week. Then we found a rental house with which we filled with rented furniture, and dishes etc. It was strange. Never felt like home. We were able to rebuild! We were able to help in demolition, which lets face it was awesome. If you've met my Dad this wont surprise you but one day we were over there item-izing our belongings (ever stop to think about that one? Just what DO you own?) and my Dad says "Hey we don't have to be careful in here!" and throws a kitchen knife at the wall!! Directly over the fireplace to be exact. Then we went and drew a big target on the area, took out the knife drawer and said "whoever gets a bullseye gets ice cream"
Game.On.
It was very silly and very helpful at getting rid of some stress and anxiety. We all got ice cream, and none of us hit the bullseye.
We spent the next 4 months in the rebuilding process and moved in 2 days before my 14th birthday.

Later that year after moving in was when my mom was diagnosed with Colon Cancer. I remember about a year after the fire she said "You know I think part of why we had the fire was so we could redo the house and I could be the most comfortable here, I don't think I could have said the same with how things were before" We did to lots of changes and were able to upgrade a lot of the furniture thanks to Homeowners Insurance. At the time I couldn't feel thankful for much I didn't know how to yet. I was seeing a therapist and that kept me sane. But Now I see exactly what she ment. We were given so much, we were served. And it is something I am glad that I can be thankful for now, it's now an experience I've lived through and can reference without tears. It was stressful and terrible and I hope to never have to go through that again. But I grew from it, and I'm glad I can see that now.

So dear House on Swansboro ct, Happy 10 year Anniversary.